I know I haven't been posting too much lately, I've just been too busy to sit down and write. Just a quick overview before I get onto what I really want to write about. I finally got that damned senior position about a month ago and things are going good but not great. I think I expected the job to fill a void in me that it just couldn't. I know there's something missing in my life, but I can't seem to find what I'm long for. It's that old undefined sense of longing. Could it simply be a biological urge to reproduce, or maybe I'm craving a relationship, but I've never had one so I know it's not that, or maybe I'm simply feeling my mortality. Which brings me to the real reason I'm writing today.

Anna Nicole Smith died. I know I shouldn't be affected by this, I'm rarely affected by celebrity deaths and never like this. There's just something about her struggle to make something of her life, and ultimately failing that hits something deep in me. What if no matter how hard I try, I don't make it? For all the limited financial success I've achieved, I still haven't found love or anything to fill that void. Now this is getting redundant to me, so I'll end with this note. I'm going to see that cheerleader from high school this weekend that had a crush on me at one time, so everybody wish me luck!