While digging through some old boxes for books to read on my trip to AZ, I stumbled upon my old journal. I just need to say that I've come a long way in 7 years. Not as far as I would have hoped, but slowly, too slowly, I've matured. In 2003 I was obsessed over finding a girlfriend. I knew that it would make my life all better, I knew that all my problems would go away if I could just get over the hump of sex. I didn't know back then, but it would take another 5 years before I jumped that particular hurdle and when I did it was inevitably a disappointment. But I'm not here to talk about sex again. I'm here to leave a final note in the even that something happens on this trip and I never come back. It seems like I am still preoccupied with my own death. I just don't want to leave anything undone. Though come to think of it, I probably should because in all the movies, ghosts with unfinished business are the ones that get to linger. So maybe I should leave something completely unsaid. Sadly I have no deep thoughts to reveal today. Just that I never realized how much I've grown up in 7 years. Or that it's been 7 years. Have I really sacrificed a decade to weed? At least I have a more mature handle on it now. Alas, if I never write again, I want to thank everyone for reading. I know that nobody will have the sense to come to my blog and say goodbye for me. If I don't post again within the next month, then you can assume that I'm dead.

If I'm dead, then I hope you have some good memories of me. I hope that something that I've rambled about made something click in your own head and maybe your life is a little bit better because of it. If not, maybe somebody will read this when I'm gone and think, I wonder what that guy was like. I hope I've given you a good idea of what I was like.

Goodbye.

Cape Perpetua
onceuponamidnightdreary

Balh I'm bored, kinda lonely, vaguely anxious, mildly sad.

I think I can ask J out and I'm almost positive she'd say yes. The question is: should I? The answer is why not.

I just realized that I have a slight stutter that nobody's ever told me about.

Irrational fear.
Consuming all that is me.
Desperation's end.

Facebook keeps reminding me that it's Denise's bday. Sad.