My conviction wavers. Do I trust the motives of others when I can't trust my own?

I need to smoke mooooore to make it all better, it all makes sense now

I can't tell if I'm blaming my problems on the drugs or the drugs on my problems.

Oh my god I am sooooooooo bored

Good news, I'm not suicidal anymore. I'm scared to death of those I live with, but at least I'm still alive. And I survived rejection with little damage.

So it turns out I wasn't depressed, I was lonely. And now that I've realized it I'm depressed all over again. So I guess that wasn't much of a revelation.

Lol I missed weed :->

Oh that, I got back from my friend's house and I just felt like a piece of shit because I let my problems out when I didn't mean to. I just want to be normal.

Test

If it goes there, and at this rate it might, please don't blame yourself. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up. I try to fix it but I can't. Counseling didn't work. I can't blame it on the drugs. I guess I'm just broken.