A distant tugging at my soul and here I am alone for all the world to see. Fine that was just random word strung together to make something. But this is my blog and I can write what I want, though slowly this is starting to mean nothing to me since all of this is the same that it was a week ago, a month ago, a year ago. Nothing ever changes. For example, yet another senior rep. possistion opened and just like a month ago and eight months ago and ten months ago I'm going to apply for it. And just like happened last time, and the time before and the time before that, I'll come this close *hold fingers* but not quite there. How many times does this have to happen before I finally give up? And what do I mean by give up? I don't know anymore, all I know is that something got to give soon. Either I get the job and my routine is broken, or I don't get the job and my routine isn't broken, in which case I'll probably do something drastic that I'll regret, or maybe I won't. Maybe I really am a bi-polar schizophrenic sociopath. Maybe I'm just a product of mental illness, and if this were true, I cannot be held responsible for any actions. Imagine the possibilities.