God help me please. I'm in a hostile environment with no allies. I can't get away. There's no escape. I have to tolerate it. I promise I won't be here again. I'm done with my family. I'm done with it all. A Step Towards Oblivion, let's talk about a step towards oblivion. It's been a long time since I've been this close to suicide. I really just want it to end. Yeah, I could pull myself out of this, but I don't want to put in the effort. God help me please. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live. I just don't want to live. I really don't want to live. There's nobody on my side anymore. That's okay. This won't last forever. Nothing lasts forever. Tonight, I compose my final goodbye and if it still seems like there's no escape, no alternative. If tomorrow isn't any better, then fuck it. Let's end it. I don't want it. I don't want to live. I don't want to breathe. I just want to end it. It has to end somewhere. I'm never going to get happily ever after. There's no such thing. How long have people been telling me that. I don't deserve a family. Why would I want to pass on my wisdom to the next generation. There's nothing to pass on except for cynicism and pain. Nobody likes me, nobody loves me. Those who think they love me, don't know the real me. That's okay, on Wednesday, I can take my car to a secluded spot, hopefully somewhere with a view of the sunset, tape a hose to my exhaust, put the other end through my window, then tape up the window. Turn on the car and bam, a few minutes, a few hours later, and goodbye. It's that simple. The question is, who would stop me? Sometimes I wish I was crazy enough to be put in an institution. I know if I actually tried this (and I so want to) I would get put away. Hopefully I end it. I fall asleep and never wake up, and fuck the world.