Too fucking lazy to kill myself

Don't worry Jamie, I'm still alive.  It's Valentines day so I'm sitting here staring down a bottle of rum.  I've been staring down that same bottle of rum for about 4 days now and each day I decided to wait till Valentines day, so I made it and now I'm gonna drink it.  Don't worry, when it comes down to it, I'd rather sleep than kill myself.  Killing myself is incredibly selfish plus it takes a lot of effort.  Not to mention all the work I'd cause my family.  My grandparents would be the first to see my dead body and it would traumatise them, then they'd have to call the morgue or the ambulance then there'd have to be a funeral which my grandparents would probably have to pay for.  I know my blog would get a lot more reading after I die because my suicide note will simply say: see oblivionschild.blogspot.com.  Maybe someone will read all of it, maybe they'll be able to pinpoint the exact day that I started doing Meth, maybe they'll see all the alcohol postings and feel sorry for me.  Who knows what they'll see in this.  Gabbi and Ally are my two little sisters btw, they're usually what keeps me from taking the plunge.  But thanks for caring Jamie, love you!