I know I shouldn't . . .

Sometimes living with my family is the best thing that ever happened to me.  There's no pressure to be anyone but myself and they have to love me for it.  Even when I make what to me seems like a huge mistake (spending part of my rent money on Video Poker) they still don't hate me?  What's up with that?  Still, this isn't good.  I love being part of the unit and feeling like a kid again.  I like the sense of structure and not wondering where my next meal is coming from.  I love knowing that no matter what, there will ALWAYS be dinner cooked for me every night.  It's making me irresponsible and immature.  Because I don't have to be responsible or mature.  Still, there is something that will never beat mom's cooking.  Even though at 26, I should have my own wife and kids and house and car and career.  I was on the track to have all of that, and then Assurant and specifically Kandi and Thor fired me and threw me to curb like five years of my life were nothing.  I would love to say that I'm done falling from that blow, but nope.  Over a year later, I'm still reeling.  Alas, I ramble.  At this moment, I am grateful for my family who forgives me when I can't forgive myself.  Now if only I can shake the lingering influences from that which I escaped.