Another year older. Another year closer to death. No closer to finding Happily Ever After. What can I say? I'm depressed. I'm close to the revelation that I have to have before I can find it. What I have to believe in the core of my being is that I don't need/want a relationship. I'm now at the point where I can see how and what one doesn't need or want a relationship, and there are moments when I can feel it, just not today and not tomorrow and not for the next few days at least. I always get lonely and depressed right around my birthday and new years. It's just another reminder of my mortality and that loneliness that I do a fairly decent job of covering up most of the time.