Jamie, are you okay??????

Just read about the earthquakes in New Zealand and my favorite commentor is from New Zealand, so do me a favor and tell me you're okay when you get a chance :)

So I know this blog will be really famous after I die. It's the middle of the night and I wasn't thinking about suicide, but Post Secret put in on my mind. And I admit, I'm morbid, I've read some suicide notes online and they're so uninspired. When I write mine, it's going to be the best piece of writing that I'll ever do. It will make me famous and it won't matter because I'm dead, but isn't that the entire point of writing here, so there's some record of me after I die. Isn't that the reason that slowly over the past 6 years or so I've been able to . . . never mind.

I can't go on that subject between the hours of 3 and 4 AM, especially a Saturday night. Since I don't exactly have religion, I have spirituality and superstition. And I don't know what it is about being at my grandparents place, but it seems like the veil between the land of the living and the land of the dead is thinner here than it is elsewhere. I mean, it's down right creepy. There are always things out of the corner of my here that I don't get at home, and weird noises, nothing overt, but god that mirror across from my bed here. . . scary. So I don't think I'll be talking about death quite yet.

So what do I want to write about then? I don't know, I just want to write. I want to create something. But not right now, because it really is 3:40 in the morning and nothing I write will be all that comprehensible.

At this moment I do not hate, I do not fear, I am alive.

Is my blog dying? I hope not. Too many tears have been shed at too many computers for this to fizzle out. So much of what makes me, me is here. It's what's kept me writing since high school. And you know what, way too many of my posts here have been about blogs. So I'm gonna do a quick three minute free write about anything other than this blog.

Update . . . I'm now living with stable roommates in a not quite healthy environment where alcoholism socially acceptable and the dreaded "white dope" is everywhere. Not that I would ever partake in the latter, but most days, I'm drinking well before noon. I know what everyone will say. You're an alcoholic. All I have to say to you is . . . DUH! Of course I'm an alcoholic. But considering everything else that I could be, isn't alcoholic fairly mild. I mean if it was good enough for my father, it should be good enough for me. Maybe the reason I'm drawn so much towards alcohol is because that's a small connection to my father. Which considering I never met the guy, I shouldn't spend so much time thinking about him.

So now I'm going to attempt to find an interesting way to end this post. Fine then, I'll just end it how I want to end it. With something so important that it deserves it's own line.

I still miss Signal and I hate, I Hate, I HATE Kandi and Thor (previously known as KT).