Blah, now I'm depressed all over again. My roommate issue's been solved, I have food in the house, and then I read A's myspace entry about being in love with her new guy . . . and my mood plummets into nothing. I'm so depressed, all I want to do is crawl into a hole and let the world pass me by, but no, it's not that kind of depression. I'm lonely. When all the weed is smoked and all the money spent, all I'm left with is lonely. And lonely I am, my God! I did not miss this feeling at all. Is it better to have loved and lost? At this moment, I'm going to say no. The opposite of loneliness is so much better than I could ever imagine when I had never been anything but lonely. It's like asking a soul who has always dwelt in Hell and never known Heaven if they want to into Heaven. Then only opening the the gates long enough to show them what they're missing before sending them back down to Hell. It's just that bad. And I am just that fucking lonely at the moment. I'd cry, but I'm done with that. I just want someone to hold.