I'm sad, but it's that same old sadness. The same deep depression that comes from knowing that I'll never be loved. But it's some how different this time. This time I know that it's mostly my fault. I'm incapable of love and A and M both taught me that. I'm afraid that I'm going to love too much next time or not enough, at the same time I know there's this debilitating nervousness that's keeping me from meeting new people. I don't know, I just spend so much time around couples and I want to be part of one and then there's the part of me that fears it as much as I want it.