It's like a switched was flipped this morning, I woke up and all of the sudden all the appeal of relationships came back to me and I have to say it's crushing. I went from not wanting a relationship, thinking it's not worth the effort and comforting myself by saying that if I really wanted one I could find a relationship to I want a relationship, they will make everything better and knowing that I'll never have one again. I forgot what it was like to feel this crushing loneliness. I could describe what it feels like again, but it's just what I've been feeling all my life. The same sense of isolation, like everyone else has a secret that they're not letting me in on. I know that I don't want to be around couples any more, I just want to be alone so I can loose myself in the loneliness.