So I'm curious my Anonymous commentators. Does that last comment left mean that I have a secret admirer reading my blog? Probably not, but there is this girl that stares me right in the face all day . . . alas, like always, I grasp at straws.
Today I sat down to type an entry about how God has abandoned me right after he shows me his light and then I read that last comment and somehow it made me feel a little better. Or at least a little less bitter.
Still, I grasp at straws. Every girl (and for whatever reason I still cannot say woman when talking about potential relationships) that looks at me twice or smiles at me or spends few minutes talking to me is my potential happily ever after. You're right, maybe I'll spend so much time looking for it that I won't see it when it slaps me in the face.
Still I get nowhere and I'm left alone.
I'm sorry.
1 comment:
I do want happily ever after for you. I am not just an anonymous commenter. I have prayed and worried about you. I actually stumbled across your blogs quite by accident. When I read the first post I saw, it so reminded me of myself at your age. I know the pain and frustration of never feeling good enough for others and having parents that have fallen so short of what I needed. Even now decades later I still struggle with it. By reading your blogs I felt less alone and not so weird. Thank you. I commented as I would have wanted someone to do for me because you deserve not feel alone and in despair as you do at times. God really did change my life as he did the ex heroin addict before me who found God during her detox. I know he is there for me and I still fall from grace quite often. I am a work in progress as we all are. Yet God is always there to pick me up in those times even when I do not reach for him myself. I became to understand once he is in your life and you accept him, he'll never leave. Which for me with my past is so important. As you can see I am not the girl. BUT I know in my heart you will find her someday. Maybe the other post-er? What I am is a true friend in this so call computer world. And I promise I will always listen without judgement and give you encourage when do not ask and advice when you do. I realize it not fair I know you and you do not. But I know someday all the cards will be out on the table. And like you always do, you'll be there for a friend. Until then I am listen friend.
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