SEX

Sex as a 22 year old virgin I have a bit of a unique perspective on it. Or rather no perspective at all. I remember as early as 8 or 9 I was looking at Playboy. It was fun, I always thought that someday I would have it, but as the years when on, I started to give up a little at time. Never mind, I thought tonight was the night for that post, but I guess it isn't. For what it's worth, I have a date with a girl from Craigs List on Saturday. She seems a bit eager to meet me. I'm afraid that the new picture on myspace is mis-leading. Jamie altered it so I would look attractive, but I'm not sure if I'm actually attractive or not. I know this girl seems to think I am, and I'd hate to disappoint. It's almost not woth the effort. I know what will happen. She'll see me and either she'll not be attracted to me, or I'll commit some social faux paux that will cause her to see me as the bumbling virgin that I am. Or she'll actually like me and I'll see some major flaw in her that makes it impossible for me to be with her. I know every girl that has ever been interested in me, fine maybe not, but I found flaw with the last girl that was interested in me. In my defense, she was a compulsive liar and morbidly obese. Of course I am too, so that shouldn't have made a difference. I guess that's the only example that I can think of when I pushed away a girl when she got too interested. Wait, there's the other example that I couldn't think of. Brina. Brina was weird though. She looked like an ostrage, she was 6 feet tall and religious. She was really interested in me, but I couldn't let her get too close. I didn't want to be her first. As it is, I think I was her first kiss, but that was after a bottle of Hennesy, so anybody looks attractive then. I don't know where I'm going with this, but my point is this: I think that I find flaws in girls when the get too interested, because I'm afraid to get into a relationship. It seems like a bitch thing to say, but what if I get hurt? They say it's better to loved and lost, etc, but what if it's not true. You know what it really is, it's not about getting my heart broken. I'm afraid that I'll suck the first time I finally do it. There is a story here that would make me think I'll suck when it finally happens, but if you want to hear it, send me an e-mail and I'll tell you. It's something that I've never written about and I'm kind of ashamed. Alas, that whole story is really embarrassing. But if you're interested, I'll tell you. So wish me luck on Saturday and remember Go Ducks!