I'm sitting here listening to my girlie station on Pandora and I'm feeling depressed. I'm so alone, I just want to cry, but I'm on too much Prozac to ever cry again. Last night I drank a fifth of whiskey, I get that particular joy once a month. Sorry I haven't been posting much lately, there just isn't much going on in my life right now. I'm still unemployed, I don't have any motivation to do anything. I haven't even read a book in a couple of months. On the bright side, I'm 10 months clean and I've stopped thinking about it every time I lay down to sleep. I still miss the people, but I no longer miss the drug. When I think back to those times I remember the bad times more than the good ones.
Last night I learned that a former co-worker of mine died a while back and I didn't know about it. She was an amazing person, always so fun and full of life. Death is supposed to be for those who don't want to live anymore, not for those who have so much life left in them.
So I've gotten into Awkward. on MTV, it's a pretty decent show. It was on last night but I was too drunk to care. I guess I'm an alcoholic, but what can I say, it's in my blood. My dad died an obese alcoholic in his mid 30's and I plan to do the same. I just wish I could cry about it and let it all out.
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