Just a quick response to the most recent commenter. First of all thank you for reading my blog, I'm glad somebody finds my life interesting. I'll respond more thoroughly later, but I just wanted to update on the M thing. After a night of drunken confessions and a week of "why is a kiss ever just a kiss" I finally see M in the light of friendship. I'm no longer pursuing it because I no longer want it. I was never attracted to her physically but I have a habit of never looking at people in the face when I talk to them so I never really realized it until after the fever (of infatuation) broke. And as far as the deep intellectual connection, I realize it was all just me being completely agreeable like I am with everybody that I like. I still like her as a friend of course, but she's fallen from the pedestal and once fallen can never be restored. Of course that's not the case with A. Somehow after a year I still get butterflies when she says "hi". Butterflies that I haven't felt since her. I can't believe that I've held on to feelings for her for so long. Anyways, I've ranted long enough.