Passion. Gregg had a great suggestion yesterday in that I should find a subject to be passionate about. The trouble with that is my interests are either so eclectic or so non-existent that it's hard for me to feel passion about anything. Plus I've had passion in my life before and it's always led to miserable failure.

For example: journalism. I was really passionate about writing during high school. But then an unfortunate incident involving herbs and an untrustworthy friend led to be being kicked out of journalism class unjustly.

Also that year I got into choir for the last semester of senior year, and I was really into that. I loved it, and I guess that didn't lead to disaster. It led to one great concert and I still remember as one of the best days of my life.

Then of course my herbal passion, which I never really gave up, just put on hold so I could become a cog in the corporate machine. Now there was a passion that I could thoroughly enjoy. Alas, the drink replaces the herb.

So now a brain storm on passion: wine tasting, sci-fi, fantasy, literature, blogging, writing, video games, cooking, fire fighting, blogging, chatting, TV, tech.

So none of those strike me as something to be passionate about. My real passion is distraction. Anything and everything to distract me from my own mortality and the futility of life.