Either she doesn't know the feelings that I have for here are as strong as they are and she thinks that I'm just a nice guy, (ugh, what a horrible word that is, "nice guy") or she does know that I'm the one that thinks about her every day, the one that misses her when she's at work, the one that would hold her and hug her and make her feel like everything will be okay as long as I'm there (that's what she wants, she's told me that) and she's using me.

If the latter were the case, then she'd have to be malicious in her intents towards me. She would being all this on purpose. Maybe it's the optimist in me, or maybe the part of me that refuses to believe that anyone is ever bad, but I don't think she'd be doing this on purpose.

All these little signs from her that I grasp at are just gestures of friendship, I know it. I just want so much more than that, I want everything she wants out of a relationship but I think we're some how too different for it to ever work out. Just mindless excuses.

Then there's the part of me that hopes that she gets her heart broken by the guy that she's currently pursuing (the fact that she even tells me that shows how deep I am in the Friend Zone) and that I'm there to either pick up the pieces of her broken heart and make her better again, or to grind them into the ground so deep that she never loves again.