Constant Anxiety

I've been in a continuous anxiety attack for the past four or five days and I don't know why.  It's really bad too.  It started a few nights ago when I was watching History Channel and I thought about death, death always leads me to an anxiety attack, I closed my eyes and I calmed myself down from it.  It never really went away.  Each night as I tried to finish watching The History of Us on Netflix, I realize that every one of the people that they're talking about is dead and I have to turn it off in favor of more mundane fare such as Family Guy.  I can sleep, but just barely.  I read a blip in Time about a new book that said something like every night we plunge ourselves into oblivion and it's terrifying.  I've always felt that way, but seeing it put into words scared me.  Since the night of the near panic attack (and I differentiate between anxiety and panic) I've had to use the strategy that never fails to alleviate my fear of sleep.  I set my phone alarm for 2-5 minutes from when I lay my head down, and I close my eyes.  I know that the alarm will wake me up in a couple of minutes, so it doesn't seem as scary just to close my eyes, knowing that I'm going to wake up in a couple minutes.  By the time the alarm wakes me up, I'm too close to sleep to be afraid of it.  Sometimes the very act of laying my head to the pillow, knowing that I'm going to be unconscious for the next 4-6 hours is terrifying.  It's the closet we ever get to death and we do it ever night.  So yeah, I'm done.