I know I've been depressed lately for some reason that I just can't put my finger on, and like I said in a previous post, all I needed was somebody to notice I've been depressed and to ask me why to let the words flow. Actually yeah, I'm depressed, but just like being fat, and being ugly, broke, socially inept, I'll deal with it. Depression is a part of my life right now. Sure it's wrapping it's self around my heart, killing any hope that I've ever had at true happiness. I'm distracting myself constantly from the pain, but sometimes it's just there. When I'm sitting infront of a computer, mindlessly doing my job thinking of other things, I'm vulnerable. So when somebody comes up to me and tells me I've been sounding depressed on the phone, I almost tell them why, part of me wants to just let go and tell them that I'm constantly sad for no good reason, and I'm not sure why, but I know I need help. But I don't, instead I put on a big fake smile and tell them, "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I've been sounding depressed, I must have been tired." And then I go right back on the phones and put a little extra effort into sounding happy, and pretending to care about customers, but I don't feel any better.