So just when my job couldn't get any worse, and I realize that this shouldn't affect me at all, my best friend at work gets himself fired. It's not as if he needed the job, and he did take way too many days off, but still it effects my life more than anything has in the past year really. This job etc. has gotten routine and more than I care to admit it, the biggest part of my routine and the part that I enjoyed the most was hanging out after work with this particular friend. There were times when I thought it was less than normal to be hanging out with the same person most nights, and most of it was just working out way through various video games or debating which football team was better, what's going on in the world etc. But it gave me somebody to bounce idea off of, somebody to pretend to care when my family turns their back on me. Somebody so at least I'm not sitting in an empty apartment staring at the walls begging the universe to do something to me! And now, as much as I will want it to be the same, it just can't be.

I just hope that I don't break down and start sabotage myself like I did at Job Corps when Shane and Opal left. Things were never quite the same after they left, and neither was I. It was as if without Shane and Opal I didn't really have the will to be there anymore and I just wanted out, but I couldn't get out because there were no other options for me. So I just kinda stopped trying. I'm afraid that I will do this at this job too. Now that my support system is suddenly yanked away from me I just hope that I'm strong enough to keep going on my own. Alas, there's nothing I can do about it, so I'll just sit here and do my job, because that's what I do and there's no way around that. So here's to all of those that ever took a chance on an anti-social, somewhat smart, but genuinely good person, and all of those who left me on my own.