Woke up and realized that I am 100% not intoxicated on anything . . . it's scary. Sobriety sucks and I'm still feeling anxiety. I mean I still have a significant amount of money in my pocket and I realize that it's not the intoxication that I miss, I miss people. I'm lonely!
So many of the people that were huge parts of my life less than a week ago are now ignoring me. My "best friend" was just using me as a free babysitter. My other friends were just using me for free stuff of one kind or another. Still, I'd rather have all my fake friends back, instead of sitting here all alone trying to figure out who was a real friend and who wasn't. What if at the end of this journey, I find out that I really did have no friends, and that the only reason people hung out with me was because I gave them stuff? Talk about a fear that's right up there with dying.
No comments:
Post a Comment