When do the cravings ever end? Six days of sobriety and I'm bored and lonely and I'm afraid that I'm loosing the little bit of social skills that I acquired through years of intoxication. I'm afraid to go out, I'm afraid to go back to Albany. What if I go back and I find that it's not all that I've built it up to be. It's only been five days since I've left, but it might as well be a lifetime. I'm sure they've all but forgotten about me there. What if I am all alone?
Oh and I still have money. Like over $80 and I have eight packs of cigarettes. I tried gambeling $20 on Thursday and it just wasn't fun alone and sober. So I sit around and I eat and I sleep and I read and I blog. And I smoke. But smoking a pack a day is a lot of work. You pretty much have to be smoking 1-2 an hour for every hour that you're awake and that's harder than you might think.
So yeah, sobriety sucks. It's boring and lonely. What more can I say?
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