Funny how much more sane a blog seems, than an "open diary". Alas, it's time to move on with my life.

But first a little bio, for anybody who cares:

I was born on the Oregon coast in the middle of that gluttonous decade, the 80's. The first 10 years of my life I lived submerged in the naivete of childhood. I knew I was the fat boy that got picked on, but childhood angst is so blissfully mild.

When I was 13 I was yanked out of my tiny coastal town, where my roots were so delicately taking hold, and thrown into the middle of a hot dry, yet fertile urban valley. Cast into a school system where I was barely a number, just another face, and I couldn't quite bare it.

It was during my 13th year that I came to an epiphany that would be the basis of my existence for the next 6 years: I would rather be hated than ignored.

That year was also the year I discovery the power of words. It fascinated me, that a nobody like myself, completely ignored for most of my life could get so much attention just by saying the right (or wrong) words. Come to think of it, my 13th year was a pivotal year in the development of who I am. It was that year that I became a person, rather than a child.

And the two events of my 13th year that made me who I am. First: the father whom I had never met, died at age 38, of a weak liver and heart, the guy died a fat alcoholic. Like I said I had never met the guy, but my fantasy of leaving my life behind, of having a father who cared about me etc. died with him. Second: I got expelled from school for speaking my mind on a subject that wasn't exactly popular. Fine so I made a threat at school that people took seriously. Ironically enough, that little incident thought me to play devils advocate, and people will listen.

So enough about the fabled 13th year. The end consequence of both incidents: I moved 30 miles away from that urban hell, and into rural bliss. Or so it should have been.

It is here that I must pause my narrative. But I assure you, it will continue.