The transformation from urban hell to rural bliss. . . .

In that year, I have gone from coastal town isolation to urban anonymity, to rural bliss. But it was not to be. High school was a tremulous time for me. And one day I may write a long detailed rambling monologue about high school. For now, just the main points.

• 1999-I entered high school still trying to cope with earlier epiphanies
• 1999-2001 Spent two years playing the looser with no friends
• 2002 Found herbal support system, oddly enough, my grades went up
• 2002 Discovered a passion for journalism
• 4/2003 Herbal support system/journalism collided, support system won
• Graduated high school, the same looser that came in, marginally more educated

So there's high school. Such a seemingly complex time in life. Why do we all long for those times again?

For six months after high school, I wandered my mind in search of something good. There was nothing. There's still nothing for what it matters.

Eventually, I found Job Corps. The refuge for high school drop outs, and the looser elite. 14 months in relegated hell, learning how to cook for the ungrateful. Steadily gaining weight, so that after 4 months, I was up 60 lbs.

For six months after job corps I once again searched my mind for something good. Meanwhile, I take two different jobs. The first one on a cruise ship as an asset. Cook, that lasted a week before the head chef successfully killed my will to cook. Even after that disaster, I managed to get another cooking job paying six cents an hour more, working at an alzheimers care facility. That lasted a month, before I realized that I didn't want to cook. Actually I got fired, and then I decided I didn't want to cook.

So I was unemployed for a month, cursing myself everyday for loosing a "good" job. Now I'm here . . . . Working for a customer service center making good money for sitting down all day. I was just approved for an apartment about a half mile away, and now that I finally have money figured out . . . . . I feel empty.